BrowserMetrics

Let's Be Cops. Let's not.

Let's not be unfunny. Let's not be about a white getting drunk on the authority of the badge. Let's not be about his black friend worried about where that power is taking them. Let's not be about fake cops breaking the law. Let's not be real cops using any means necessary to capture the bad guy. Let's not be about fake cops abusing their power.

In the days since #ferguson, this movie is worst and worst. Cops is bad. Fake cops is badder.

2 of 5 stars.

Labels: movies, review

Watching Guardians of the Galaxy gave me the feeling that I had seen this movie before. If only I was 7 years old again and without the internet hype machine, then watching this movie would remind me of Star Wars.

Like Star Wars, there was a ragtag band of scoundrels gathered together to save the universe. Instead of Darth Vader, there was some Kree dressed up in darkness. Instead of a princess, there was a bad ass assassin. Instead of Chewbacca, there was Groot. Instead of Luke and Han, there was Starlord and the raccoon. And there was Draxx. 

Labels: movies, review

Lucy started off as a revenge flick, then ended up being 2001. Wha, what?!

Scarlett Johanson plays Lucy, an American ex-pat in Asia, who gets caught up in a drug trafficking scheme. The drug in question if taken in a large enough dose makes you use 100% of your brain. And when you use 100% of your brain you can manipulate matter! Wha, what!!

I really wanted a revenge flick. I wanted to see Scarlett Johanson to kick drug kingpin ass. But she was done far too early. Then we started exploring what the heck.

Scarlett Johanson was Data from TNG.

3 of 5 stars.

Labels: movies, review

Hercules has the Rock in full on scene chewing mode. It also has the rest of the cast including Ian McCane, John Hurt, and Rufus Sewell digging in and chewing it up just as the Rock has. If you need to see a B movie this summer, you can't do wrong with Hercules.

This film tries to dispel the Hercules myth. Son of Zeus? Doer of the 12 trials? Lover? Warrior? Indian chief!

According to the movie, Hercules is a band of ne'er-do-wells who survived all the trials and tribulations to make the myth of Hercules. Of course, the actual Hercules leads this band which includes a 'leaf' smoking soothsayer, an Amazon, a Celtic berserker, and Rufus Sewell who you will wait for the third act turncoat. The Amazon made the movie for me. She had a striking resemblance to Nicole Kidman. I kept wishing it was Nicole Kidman, because the movie would've been awesome if it was. But it wasn't, and yet I kept seeing Nicole Kidman kicking ass.

So we find out the myth is bigger than the man, but the man is as much a hero because he acts like one. Cool. Watching the movie helped out a boring week on bug watching for work.

3 of 5 stars.

Labels: movies, review

My eyes! My eyes! I wish I never saw Sex Tape. It's not worth a trip to the movie theatre to see let alone a trip to the Red Box at Royal Farms. Skip it and leave it to die a lonely death in the cloud.

2 of 5 stars.

Labels: brevity, movies, review