Tonight's Orioles game was postponed so I ended up at the movies to catch Water For Elephants with Mom. I don't know which I was dreading more those Damn Yankees drubbing our Orioles or a Robert Pattinson movie. I hate those Damn Yankees, but I think I would prefer that than this movie.

Robert Pattinson is Jacob. Go Team Jacob! He's a Polish veterinary student who ends up in the small time circus. At first, he's just a carnie, but later is hired on to look after the animals especially the eponymous elephant who will bring fame and fortune to the circus owner/ringleader. Of course, he falls for the owner's wife. Cristoph Waltz is the ringleader and he's still a Nazi; this time manic depressive. It is a classic love triangle story. I'm giving you a cursory summation of the plot, but you can guess how it all ends.

Pattinson's Jacob was barely out of college. Living in upstate New York, he is naive to the ways of the circus. They're freaks, clowns, grifters and movers who know the world better than him. Pattinson's Jacob just wanders the circus wide eyed. Even after joining the family circus, he's still naive. I couldn't believe Reese Witherspoon's Marlena would fall for him. I just couldn't believe Pattinson's acting. He witnesses Waltz's iron fist control of the circus, and he gaily strolls into the love triangle believing he was the better man. It made me shake my head, roll my eyes, and sigh wishing he would get a clue. Is that how the book went? I bet it read better.

I wanted to get out of the theatre in order to read the book.

2 of 5 stars

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