BrowserMetrics

Ok, I'm a sucker. Let me admit that I expected to find some kind of mirror image of my life in School for Scoundrels. Yet, if my life was that unfunny, I would want to die.

This movie is a supposed comedy. It clocks in at a bit over the 100 minutes, but it felt like an eternity. When choosing a movie to watch this weekend, I complained that The Guardian had a long running time just about 2.25 hours. Yet, School for Scoundrels felt very long. I was surprised to see that it played short as it felt like I was in the theatre for a while. Time slows down when watching something this unfunny.

Anyway the plot goes like this: loser guy pines for the cute neighbor, tries to woo her using tactic learned from the School for Scoundrels, becomes rivals with his teacher for the neighbor's affections, and must destroy him before he is destroyed. Apart from going to a school and the rivalry aspect, I am that loser guy. Even more so since I don't know if I have a cute neighbor to try and woo.

The movie combines some story elements from Fight Club -- secret, guy's only club and Something About Mary -- chasing the girl of your dreams against other suitors. It doesn't do a good job of combining the two. I was disappointed.

The cast was sucky. John Heder should not be the lead. I felt he did this movie soon after hitting it big with his Napoleon Dynamite role, and he decided to play it like that. "Sheesh!" The lion as king of his domain was a significant metaphor, but for that dude he should've been a liger! Billy Bob Thorton is the usual grouchy Billy Bob. I don't know why he bothers. They had another movie he will be in later this yerr in the previews and I felt that that's all he knows how to play. The cute neighbor (Jacinda Barrett) fell in love with the guy in the end which was so unbelievable that I expected a unicorn to come prancing through the theatre within minutes of the ending. Barrett had a non-descript role, but her character is the type of girl I can dig. Bookish and cute, but her role was insignificant. She played it adequately.

In the end, this movie was not very funny. It was boring at times. I was amazed at how much the supporting cast was wasted. Actors and comedians such as Luiz Guzman, Todd Louiso, Sarah Silverman and David Cross were wasted. They're all fine comedic talents, but they had nothing here to make us laugh. With a supporting cast like that?! What happened?

I did laugh at some points, but overall this film is dull and not funny.

1 of 5 stars.

Labels: movies, NewsRadio quote, review

I was just cruising through my links (see the blogroll to your right) and from Jason Kottke I run into the author of a book I saw at BN, "No One Cares What You Had for Lunch: 100 Ideas For Your Blog."

I know a few people who might need this as their blogs are infrequently updated.

Ok. I know it's totally unfair to criticize them. I like writing on my blog about nothing and everything. It's also more like "what I had for lunch," but I think the few people who do read this blog can get the gist of what I'm like or what I like or what I'm thinking.

Enough of this meta-blog thoughts, what did you have for lunch.

PS. NewsRadio Quote Month is coming to a close and I have yet to check out season 1 and 2 again.

Labels: NewsRadio quote

Boy! That Keith Olbermann sure is shrill That rant against the fucks at fox news is one in a string of excellent rants against the fucking corrupt republican party. This other rant is just as good. And finally, this rant takes the cake.

Fuck the republicans and that fucktard president. They've ruined this country worst than any terrorist has.

Labels: NewsRadio quote

Here's a list of 100 best videos according to Stylus magazine.

Another list? Yes, but it's music videos!

I don't pretend to know (or care) what the best music video is. Ever. I just wanted to point out a few songs that are way cool to see again. There's Cake's "The Distance," Daft Punk's "Around the World," and The Chemical Brother's "Let Forever Be." I watched them at work and loved every minute I was goofing off.

Anyway, make of this list what you will. Music videos can be trite, but they're fun when it's a song you like.

Labels: NewsRadio quote

Just because they've reached a compromise on torturing those folks down in Gitmo doesn't mean that you haven't been found out. So I am putting you on notice. Get your act together or face consequences. Yes, I really am talking to you, Doobie Keebler. Are we sympatico? Que?

Labels: NewsRadio quote

The Illusionist. You have seen this before when it was called The Usual Suspects. Don't let that make you not see it, because it is a fine story. The heart of the matter is that love conquers all. And the only way to win back the lost girl of your past, the love of your life, is through magic! No, just kidding, but that is something funny and hilarious.



This film is better than the rest of the summer movies that came out in August. It's a real gem, because of the story. Also, Jessica Biel is hot in jodpurs.



3 of 5 stars.

Labels: movies, NewsRadio quote, review

Avast, me mateys, tis talk like a pirate day. Get yer hornpipe a blowin' an' make quickstep of yer peg leg 'fore some mistake ye fer a landlubber. Ar!

If'n ye need some help, here be a great instructional video for thee! Ar!

Labels: NewsRadio quote

I can't do better than the seed's review of Black Dahlia. I too thought we were going to get a by-the-numbers detective story, but it wasn't. It wasn't about the Black Dahlia case that's for sure.

Wait for it on DVD.

2 of 5 stars.

Labels: movies, NewsRadio quote, review

A few weeks back I caught Beerfest for the fun of it. If you decide to watch it you should do it in jest, as there is no redeeming quality to the movie. It's just pure funny. I laughed and enjoyed myself immensely at that time. Now, I don't even remember it like a good night of drinking. Afterwards, I wanted a beer and to get rip-roaring drunk.

3 of 5 stars.

Labels: movies, NewsRadio quote, review

I am still in that pensive mood. I cannot get it out of my head. Most of these dreams feel real, because I want them to be. Yet, they are just figments of my imagination. Are they my subconscious? Do they have meanings? Should I act on them?

Yes. I did. Rashly. And I am such an idiot for it.

This being the technological age, I used the internet. I queried to find if she was alive, where's she at, and is she close? I struck gold. And that is a problem.

I feel dirty snooping around the internets for scraps of information on her. First resort is always google. Surprisingly, she doesn't leave much of an impression on the web. She has a very unique name, but it produces very few positive results. Then I tried those peoplefinder search engines. They really do work. Try it sometime. Each of them gives a free summary report which is enough to confirm that that is the person you're searching for. It is freaky, and I am embarrassed to say that I really wanted to click the pay button for more information. I am desperately lonely about this that I would stoop to something so stupid, so absolutely shameless.

As I pondered about this, I realized the awesome power the internet has. It can retrieve so much details about you're life that it's scary. That is why I feel so dirty. It is like I was a peeping tom. No. I am a peeping tom looking through a window at someone else's life uninvited. I ackowledge that most of the information was publicly available yet I should never have searched for it. I wonder how to live life as an online personality. I guess writing this blog should make me susceptible to my privacy being violated, but I choose this. Sometimes I choose not to. Those free peoplefinder search engines, if people only knew how simple it is to find out things it will make them angry.

As my fingered hovered over the "purchase" button, my conscience kicks in and saves me from making an ass of myself. Yet, I continued to wonder about her all day. In the car I knew that she was gone, but I do one last search which bears fruit. Married. Kids.

*Sigh*

I know now that I can never do this again. This obsession. This preoccupation for a girl that I have not seen in 15 years. This compulsion for a girl that I hadn't had a decent conversation with in 20 years. This fixation on someone who I don't even know and never had a chance to know.

I hope it ends here. Those dreams will come. They always do. But I should let them recede into the neurons of my brain. There they'll stay quiet for awhile but percolate to the surface on occasion to remind me of her. When they do, I'll perhaps blog them, but no searches for me.

It makes me happy that somewhere she is alive and living a life that is hers. I wish her well. It makes me sad that here I am living the life that is mine.

Labels: dreams, NewsRadio quote

It starts out in the grocery store. I spy I. I maneuver to get close to her. We meet cute. I introduce her to my mom.

Next we're in her car. It must be a date or something. She's driving but on the right hand side. Would I like to hear music? She slides in an 8 track, but it plays some recent stuff. I think Lionel Ritchie was on the front of the tape.

Next we're sitting on a couch. Side by side. My head's a bit lower than hers. She kisses me. I wonder aloud about all the time we missed being together. She says she's been waiting all this time. We kiss again. We're making out now.

This dream put me in a pensive mood this morning. I was distracted at work. It's another one of my sad, pathetic dreams of girls gone by. Unfortunately, I blog them because they are so damn important to me. There would've been a more descriptive account, but I dreamt that post up, too.

This blog is nothing but Mac, movies, and sad, sad dreams. (At least, I'm posting frequently.)

Labels: dreams, NewsRadio quote

As planned, Apple announced that theire iTunes music store will now sell downloadable movies. Nothing but Disney products. But the original music store opened with just a smattering of songs and look where they are today.

They also re-introduced the iPod mini in the form of the metallic iPod nano. Personally, I think they look ugly and would rather have the scratchable 1st gen nano.

They also updated the iPod shuffle. I want one. $79 for something that small. The only downside is that it is no longer self contained and comes with a USB rechargeable dock. Bulk on the desktop, but small form factor on the go. It's even metallic which beats out the lame update to the nano.

Labels: NewsRadio quote

Unlike my buddy,
Wyman Lee, I am not an artist, but we do share the same passion for comics. Whereas he went to the biggy in NYC, I stopped by Baltimore's Comic Con today with my brother. It's a little bit smaller, but just as engaging. Mainly we browsed the back issue bins of the dealers. I did get some current issues, because I haven't been to the comic store in awhile. I also picked up some Gundam toys.

Lou Ferrigno was signing autographs at a booth. He's pretty bulked up. The veins in his arms were visible from several feet away. We didn't get his autograph, because he was asking twenty bucks, and I had just spent most of my cash. I should've walked across the street from the convention center to the Bank of America ATM and grabbed more cash.

Anyway it was neat. There's so much to read. I'll have to go to the comic shop next week to catch up.

Labels: comics, F.O.B., NewsRadio quote

Today, I accomplished what I wanted to do on my bike. I wanted to ride a century before I hit 35. Although, I only rode a metric century, 63 miles, it counts for something. I rode 63.35 miles at the Civil War Century from Thrumont, MD to Gettysburg, PA. We passed through Emmitsburg and the backside of Ski Liberty before riding through the Gettysburg battlefield. It was awesome, and I'll probably want to do it again next year.

First things first. I woke up early again, packed my car with my gear, and headed out to Thurmont via Route 26. The cool morning air was filled with fog when I reached Frederick county, so the ride was going to be in the early morning mist. As I get closer to the start, I pass some riders. They appeared out of the fog suddenly, so I note that it will be somewhat dangerous until the sun can burn the fog away.

I park. It's eight o'clock. I am so set. When I get dressed, I find I had left my cycling shoes at home. "Son of a bitch." I wonder if I can drive back, get them and make it back in time to ride. "Parking closes at 9." I'm shit out of luck for it would take me 2 hours to go home and back arriving at 10 and missing some of the rest stops along the way. As I go register, I make up my mind. Do it. Ride in your sneakers. Use this calamity to your advantage and make it burn a desire to finish off the ride in style. Fuck it. I go for it.

The ride starts in the cool of the morning. I didn't wear my arm warmers, because I feel that it was going to heat up later, but the air was still chilly before I was warmed up enough. Riding through the mist for about 45 minutes until the fog lifts was great. Like a dawn patrol, but on a bike.

I make it to the first water stop in an hour or so. I had averaged a good 15 mph! Looks to be about a 4 hour day. I had planned on a 12 mph pace, but I take it. The course was rolling. No hills to climb except for the backside of Ski Liberty. It goes up steep. I go into the red zone thinking it was a short climb, but as I crest the hill, I see it flatten then go up again for another 50 meters. I get off and walk the bike up.

At the second water stop, I grab some food: PBJ and a banana. I fill my water bottles with Gatorade and water. Hopefully, the Gatorade will help me not cramp up later in the ride. When I ride, I usually set my trip computer to display the distance. This time I set it to display my speed. I don't want to know how many miles are left. It would disappoint me seeing the miles tick by slowly. The second leg averages a little bit less than 15 mph. The legs feel the 33 miles already. I have not ridden past this point so far this year. I am in unchartered territory. Will I have enough to get me through? And where the hell's Gettysburg?

At this point I am stung by a bee that flew into my helmet. I thrash about trying to knock it away, but don't know if I am successful. I pull over take off my helmet. A cute girl goes by in a group asking if I'm alright. "Bee!" is all I say. Mental note catch up to that group.

On the third leg, we cruise through the battlefield. I have to come back later and ride the park on a bike for it would be fun, but now I am busy. I rest at the Peach Orchard reading some of the commerative statues. When I climb on my bike again, I pass some kids who cheer the lot of us on. What fun! We cruise past Devil's Den before leaving the park. I have to do this place again on a leisurely pace.

As we leave Gettysburg, I gain the wheel of four other riders. They're pushing 20 mph, and I'm loving it except when I throw my chain again!

At the third and final water stop, a sign says that I have done 50 of the 63 miles. Only 13 to go woohoo! As I leave, I suddenly feel the mileage. My legs are getting weaker every turn of the crank. At 52 miles, they don't feel anything at all. My tank is empty and I hope to make it home. I spin at a leisurely pace hoping that no hills arise. No hills come, but the wind kicks up. I am spinning 11 mph into a headwind and it is no fun. It's also no fun when I pick up to ladies who latch onto my wheel as I break the wind for them. They back off after riding my wheel for a mile. That sucked.

I pass the cute girl's group again. They have to wait for a struggling friend. Yet since my legs are dead, they pass me. She's fast, and her companions complain. I try to keep up, but a steady incline has me falling back.

The final miles are not sliding by quick enough. I watch the odometer on my computer: 57 miles, 58 miles...

We get to the outskirts of Thurmont. A funeral procession passes. I stop and let them through. It's the hearse, followed by the limo, then some Harleys, and some mods on scooters! I tag along on the back as another cute girl goes by. I try to catch her, but gain no ground. In the town, we're caught in traffic. It's stressful.

Finally, the finish. I look down 4 hours and 15 minutes to ride 63.35 miles. Sweet! I averaged about 14+ mph. Not bad. I get something to eat. Ice cream.

It's been a good year for my cycling. I have put about 350 miles on my Gios and I had another 50 on my Bianchi. I think I'll be slowing down a bit. Until next year that is.

Labels: cycling, NewsRadio quote, sports

President Fucktard.

Labels: NewsRadio quote

I am so ready!!! Except I have taken the week off. I hope that doesn't affect my performance.

Dear cyclists,

This is a final message to the over 1,000 participants who have preregistered for CWC 2006 and to those who have not preregistered and are still planning to attend.

We are looking forward to a safe successful event. The weather looks great for the mid-Atlantic, so we are still expecting more riders to register.

Active.com is our preferred method for registration and will be available through Thursday, September 7, 2006. Preregistration will help us plan for the event and ease the Day of Event registration lines. (We look forward to seeing those who have already preregistered!)


Here are the key times you need to remember.

[SNIP]

Saturday:
Parking lot opens at 6 AM (Turn off your headlights)

Registration opens at 7 AM. We will try to get an earlier start to avoid the lines that we saw last year. When we are ready, we will start registration.

Registration closes at 10:30 for those riding the shorter routes.

Course opens at 7AM. Remember that early mornings in September are often damp and foggy. Please be careful.



Rest Stop Hours:

Gathland-9 AM to 12:30 PM
Mt. Aetna-8:30 AM to 3:30 PM
Fairfield-8 AM to 4:30 PM
Barlow-9:30 AM to 4:30 PM
Loy's Station-8 AM to 12 Noon
Thurmont- Serving sandwiches till 5:00PM

Shut down at Thurmont -- 6 PM


The busiest parking back ups will occur from 7-8:30. If you are riding in the metric or half century, you can avoid the congestion by arriving after 8:30.

Please be aware that the community park across from the event site is not intended for event participants. Consider the residents and the Town of Thurmont during the day.


Finally a note about you and your equipment. We assume your preparation for the event is complete. Make a final check of your bike and repair gear. REI bike mechanics will be at the ride start and there will be mechanics at the major rest stops. SAG vehicles will be patrolling the course, and the call-in # for SAG support is 443-340-2268.

Thanks! See you there!

Labels: cycling, NewsRadio quote

Pretty soon we'll see some new fracking episodes. Fracking finally!

Labels: boobtube, NewsRadio quote

Classes start tomorrow. I'm taking two of them. Hopefully, I can schedule things correctly so that I can workout, ride my bike and study with some free time to do house work and stuff. Why again am I going to school?

Labels: NewsRadio quote

UPDATED WITH A PIC

These are my impressions of participating in the 30 mile ride at the inaugural Save-A-Limb Bike Ride and 5k Run.

It starts of Saturday night getting to bed early. And it was early because I passed out about 11:00 pm. It continues to Sunday morming getting up early at 5:30. I shower because I want to wake up. I eat a breakfast which consists of a bagel with cream cheese (not good), a bowl of oat meal, and a glass of OJ. I am full and ready with fuel. As is my want, I will get a cup of coffee on the way to the event, and top off the fuel tank with a banana before the ride.

I get my bike on the rack and my stuff into the trunk, and jet off to Oregon Ridge, the start of the ride. When I get there, the parking lot has many cyclists in it already. We were psyched for the ride. I get ready: dressed, put on arm warmers because the weather's cool, inflate the tires, spin around the parking lot to get warm. I hear the 60 mile group go out.

I get into the 30 mile group. It will be a bunch start. I have not done such a start, so I hang back in the group as we all line up. Is this a good decision or bad? For one, I could drop out and go at my own pace, but then I don't get the benefits of riding in a back who'll suck me along at a quicker rate, breaking the wind for me. I decide to stick to the final third of the bunch.

And we are off.

We go about a 12 mile pace. It's not fast enough for me. We are all over the rode. I've never ridden on the line before. It sucks and is worrisome, but because we are riding 2 abreast, you have to ride the line in order to pass people. I am part of the bunch that misses the light at Shawan and Cuba. The first, faster group looks to be about 300 meters in front. We go across and begin an ascent and immediately the group starts stringing out. I climb with a pack of twenty riders.

This route feels hilly, and not in the good way. A ride with rolling hills is fun. You go up a hill and come down it all in a gentle manner. This ride feels like its going to go up abruplty and down quickly. 30 mile? Shit.

We make it to the top of a hill and start coming down. I like to pedal downhill, because going fast is fun. Other people do not, and I ride the breaks so as not to bump wheels. It had rained the day before, so the roads are filled with debris and are damp so we're only going a cautious 30 mph. We go over a wooden bridge. This group I stick with for another hill. Then on the third on Falls Rd. I am dropped. I yo-yo back on the downhill, but on the next hill I am dropped for good. My little group goes away and I am left turning the cranks over. It is not fun to be 5 miles into the ride and pedalling squares. Of course on the downhill, I pedal to catch up. Yes.

I like to yo-yo while riding. Struggle up the hill, then fast down it. I pass riders going down as fast as they passed me going up. I wonder if this ticks them off. What ticks me off is riding up hill at a faster pace as a couple who take the entire road.

The views are nice, but I hardly notice them, because of struggling up and down. I lose my chainring twice both inner and outer(!) both going uphill and coming down(!). I wonder if my chain is clean enough and lubricated.

Every hill spied in the distance brings a muttered curse. Sometimes the road looks to lead up a steep pitch, but luckily the route turns at the base. I make it up most of the hills cranking on the granny gear. Hurray for the triple!

A fellow rider speaks to me. I say hello. He's from Jersey where it's flat and the hills are brutal to him. Tell me about it. I leave him rather rudely on a downhill. I can't talk to you if you're not pedalling downhill.

The first waterstop is 19 miles in. Although I am not thirsty I was looking for a rest from pedalling. I stay for about 10 minutes then make my way out on my own. I climb more hills, but faced with a steep one I dismount a few feet from the top. Look! Another water stop. This one 4 mile from the other. I grab another drink and some GU. The powerbar stuff in vanilla is much better. I like it.

I set off for the final leg. We make it to the inbound road, Cuba, that was fun to go up. Twenty-eight miles ago there was no hills. It turns out there were two climbs on this rode. I make it up both! On the triple! Huffing and puffing but not getting off! They were each probably a quarter mile in length. I was challenged and I met it. Yes!

I make it down the hill towards Shawan Rd. Cars start coming out of neighborhoods, but I am doing a steady 34 mph pace to the stoplight. At the stoplight I wait with another couple. We cross over to Beaver Dam Rd. Don't cruise now, where there. Finish it off with a flurry. In the parking lot a ride volunteer has us take a final lap for the kids. I made it. And I received a cool poster from one of the many children whom this charity ride is for. I feel saddened that I didn't get more donations for them. Damn, I am a selfish bastard.

I made it back with gas in the tank. My legs were not tired like the last time. Hopefully this bodes well for next week. I liked the challenge of this ride and perhaps next year I may be able to ride the 60 miler.

This is me after the end of the ride. No wonder the racers zip up at the finish line: the picture looks so much better. That dazed look I need to work on.

Labels: cycling, NewsRadio quote, sports

Last night I went out and had a drink, listening to a band. My ears are still ringing. Is that a bad thing?

Anywho, there were pretty young girls there. Pretty girls make me smile.

Labels: NewsRadio quote

NewsRadio quote month is here! Hurray! Now I get to publish each post with a title that pulls a quote from NewsRadio. Isn't September lovely?

Labels: NewsRadio quote